Ten things you can only get away with saying at Christmas

1. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
2. Smother the butter all over the breasts.
3. I fancy some dark meat.
4. Don't play with your meat.
5. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
6. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time.
7. You still have a little bit on your chin.
8. How long will it take after you put it in?
9. Just pull the end and wait for the bang.
10. Go on! Have a nibble on these nuts.